Kori: Have you read Breaking Dawn?

Me: Reading it now. You?

Kori: Yeah, reading it now.

Me: I skipped to the end though. I had to know.

Kori: It's a total soap opera.

Me: They always are!

Kori: Yeah ... I decided to put it down for the night when the pack was wanting to attack now that they knew Bella was preggers w/ a monster. What a ridiculous sentence.

Me: Hahaha, yeah the next whole part is really boring. Also, why is every character so emotionally constipated?

Kori: I get SO frustrated w/ Bella. She's literally the worst heroine ever. If you can even call her that.

Me: Sometimes the drama they manufacture among themselves doesn't even make SENSE. Yet, we read.

Kori: But I don't know if I'd ever want my teenage daughter reading about a girl who DEVOTES her life to a guy.

Me: You know what it is, it's porn for teenage girls. A guy who only holds them all night long and doesn't want sex.

Kori: What do the vampires do when Bella gets her period?

Me: Also, people are SO stupid in the book. There's a part when they use donor human blood to drink (not really a spoiler).
Edward: Don't worry, no one died for this.
Bella: But whatever do you possibly mean???
Edward: I'll explain later.
Me: Um, hello?!?!?! People don't need to DIE to bleed. It's donor blood? IDIOT.

Kori: Hmm, yeah, they should just sip on some donor blood for special occasions.

Me: Like in champagne flutes.