There are two things Mike & Chris hate: bright colors and women who smile.

Nonetheless, I'm trembling with desire for the jackets in their new fall line.

First of all, I'd be pretty down with sporting this not-a-jacket but not any other identifiable article ofclothing ($164) to the Place of Media where I work. The tweed pants are nice too, but I think that women who weight more than 17 pounds aren't allowed to wear tweed pants, so I'm out.







.... Are those ... leather pants? Um, well, if so, I'd declare those safely out of the range of work-acceptable attire for my sort of folk. I'm digging that bib-slash-military look around the neck of this get-up ($383), though.

Hey, lady, what are you looking so grumpy about? Is your Botox mingling with your hair bleach and creating deadly, deadly fumes? You're wearing like $2,000 bucks' worth of clothes. Can't you look at least a LITTLE excited about it?

I can't afford a $383 Kimball Zip Up Jacket, and I'm doing OK! I'm able to throw back my IKEA covers every morning, jam my feet into some Target boots and shuffle off to work sans $383 Kimball Zip Up Jacket. Though if I could have a $383 Kimball Zip Up Jacket, I would.



It's a pea coat! No, it's a khaki car coat! No, it's an Anson Zip Up Hoodie ($194). I like the asymmetrical lines and the model's silvery eye shadow, so that's good enough for me.


Finally, I would probably sell most of my belongings for these boots (and at $565, I'd actually only need to sell, like, maybe my couch and one other big thing). But please don't test me on that.


Just THINKING about the potential suppleness of these babies makes my heels start to bleed from those unforgiving Martens in my closet. (I've been mashing their heels with a mallet daily, I swear.)